Banana Jokes!
 

Q: Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
A: Because they peel!

Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na....! Banana..na....!
http://w3.rz-berlin.mpg.de/cmp/beethoven_sym5_1.wav

What do you call two banana skins?

A pair of slippers

Q: When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing?

A:What else but Peelings?

Peelings, nothing more than peelings,
trying to forget my peelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
trying to forget my peelings of love....

Adapted from song of Morris Albert's Feelings.

Why did the banana go to see the doctor?

The banana was not peeling very well.

Why did the banana cross the street?

Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Your luck is so bad, you bought a bunch of bananas and they were all empty.

How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Yes, I have no favorite banana joke, ... well, that's it, I split!

ok, here's an old rhyme I remember from childhood

I'm Chiquita banana and I'm here to say
if you wanna kill your teacher, there's a real easy way
just take a banana peel, and put it on the floor
and watch your teacher go flying out the door

knock knock. who's there? BANANA. Banana who?
repeat 5 times and end with:
knock knock. who's there? Orange. Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

Ali Muktar is in Iraq, starving, so he goes to the market to steal some food.
He sees Mohammed get busted for stealing peanuts,
and the secret police spread Mohammed eagle and shove the peanuts up his arse, the penalty.
Mohammed screams "No, Allah, Noooo...!".
Next he sees Rami busted for stealing apples,
and so the secret police push the apples up his butt. He bleeds from the eyeballs in pain.
Then he sees his schoolmate, Osama, get arrested for stealing bananas.
But as the push the bananas in his ass, he's hysterical laughing.
"How come you laughing, idiot infidel?" they ask.
"Wait 'till you catch Ali, he steals watermelons!"

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

Not a banana joke in words, but funny non the less.
Mike

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

4 apples were standing on a street corner goofing off when a banana came by. The banana thought they looked like they were having fun, so he asked if he could join them. The one bad apple said, no banana, split...:>(...

...sorry, just made it up...Z

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

OMG, MediaHound , I've been outside with my banana plants and have had the same song going through my head! I thought some kid here just made it up. LOL!!!

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

Two bananas are sunbathing on a riverbank when a turd comes floating by. He yells out "Come on in, the water's great!"
One banana looks at the other and says "Do you believe that ****?"

:D

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

lol

Re: Banana Jokes!
 

why do banana's do so well on the dating scene?
Because they have Appeal!